Mom has completed her journey
1:40pm, Friday.
I was standing under the Alaska sign at LAX when I read the text from my Uncle
"She passed away"
-----------------------------------
3 hours before that, I was in Santa Rosa. I had just spoken to my sister. It was urgent, mom was already doing the death rattle. We had belatedly realized mom's light gurgling was actually the death rattle. It was so quiet, my sister could barely hear it. Google had informed us it was very loud and more horrifying like a zombie. Google was wrong.
I felt so anxious, and I was so afraid I wouldn't make it. I needed to get down there right away. Why didn't I just stay down there? What if I don't make it? Did I tell her everything I want to? What would I want my last words to her to be?? I forced myself to focus. I could let my mind run once I was on the plane.
It was around 11:00am There are so few direct flights from Santa Rosa, I have them all memorized. I knew there was one flight from STS to SNA at 10am.. but I missed that one already. There is one at 11:20a from STS to LAX.. but they are probably boarding already.. with 15 min to the airport, I probably wouldn't make it. The next one after that isn't until 4pm. Gah! A quick google search showed that the 11:20a flight was delayed to 12! THANK YOU JESUS!
I threw whatever I could think of at the moment into a duffle bag, forced myself to make a mental check-list of the essentials "ID, Phone, Wallet... check" and took an Uber to the Santa Rosa Airport. I had made it on the flight. ( it cost a freak'in arm and leg, but whatever! It matters not!) I was on my way.
When I landed in LAX, I felt so anxious, I kept flipping through my phone looking for nothing, I ran past all the gates, one glance at the escalators full of people.. and I chose the stairs instead, I ran up the stairs, I ran down the stairs. I knew running probably didn't make a difference but I couldn't stop myself. I kept telling myself "It'll be okay, You'll make it"
I didn't make it.
But, I'm okay.
When I read Uncle's text, I thought I would be upset, I thought I would be sad.. maybe even cry out in grief.. but for some reason, I just felt a huge sense of relief. All my anxiety faded away. I'm glad she wasn't in pain anymore.. and I felt at peace. I just wanted to be with my sister now.
As we pulled up to my moms home.... I was shocked by the number of cars outside.. and even more shocked by the number of shoes outside our door.
My mom had passed, but she was surrounded by all these friends and family who loved and cared for her. It was a joyful celebration. There were tears, but also much laughter. Everyone got a moment to say goodbye. We held hands, sang Amazing Grace to her, and said our prayers. Our house was overflowing with love.
At 8:08p we had the Mortuary pick her up. (she always loved those 8's) My cousin hugged me tightly as they took my mom, I thought I would cry, that I should cry, but I didn't. I just watched blankly and felt numb. I have to be strong.
That night, we had a "Hero's feast" and celebrated her life with our wonderful friends and family. We laughed, we ate, and we talked about our childhood memories. We made a toast to mom's life with big smiles on everyone's face.
It's been two days now... Random items in the house are triggers, and my sister starts sobbing uncontrollably. I hold her close and tell her its okay to be sad and its okay to cry. I can be strong for both of us.
-------------------
We will not be holding a funeral or a viewing. Instead, we will be holding a BBQ at Dana Point Beach this Saturday to celebrate her life! Dana Point is a place that holds great childhood memories for us. Mom would often plan fun BBQ's for us and all her family friends there and we would have a great time eating yummy bbq, fishing for sardines, and taking a little blow up paddleboat out for a ride :) We will be chartering a boat to scatter her ashes the day before with just family. Details below:
-----------------
STELLA'S LIFE CELEBRATION BBQ
Date: Saturday, Aug 18, 2018
Time: 11am---1pm
Location: Dana Point, Baby Beach
Wear: Bright fun colors
Bring: Lots of Joy and an appetite
-----------------------
HELP? (will update as needed)
We are so thankful for our loving friends and family, and are unashamed to admit.. we could really use the help..... the list is every growing...I had to start writing it down so I wouldn't forget.
1. We could really use a reliable gardener, someone that can come weekly or bi-weekly.
2. Our dryer has an error... we have no idea why.. maybe because we've overworked it
3. DONE! We could really use some boxes and some help washing and folding things for donation, and possibly drop off at donation as well
4. DONE! The hose in the backyard is leaking. We were told it was an easy fix with a very simple part at Home depot.. I couldn't process all the fixer-upper jargon. T_T
5. Sleep Overs- it's really comforting when we have someone stay over and play with us. After a long day sorting the billions of hospital bills.. shredding countless papers and making phone calls. We can barely function to do anymore paperwork. We noticed just a night of video games and laughing with us really helped us.
6. Food- https://www.mealtrain.com/trains/m8g287 I know we need to eat.. bit we honestly haven't been hungry at all. We're also both extremely constipated and we don't know why. We drank prune juice and still nothing.. haha. Maybe we need some veggies.
love,
Michelle
I was standing under the Alaska sign at LAX when I read the text from my Uncle
"She passed away"
-----------------------------------
3 hours before that, I was in Santa Rosa. I had just spoken to my sister. It was urgent, mom was already doing the death rattle. We had belatedly realized mom's light gurgling was actually the death rattle. It was so quiet, my sister could barely hear it. Google had informed us it was very loud and more horrifying like a zombie. Google was wrong.
I felt so anxious, and I was so afraid I wouldn't make it. I needed to get down there right away. Why didn't I just stay down there? What if I don't make it? Did I tell her everything I want to? What would I want my last words to her to be?? I forced myself to focus. I could let my mind run once I was on the plane.
It was around 11:00am There are so few direct flights from Santa Rosa, I have them all memorized. I knew there was one flight from STS to SNA at 10am.. but I missed that one already. There is one at 11:20a from STS to LAX.. but they are probably boarding already.. with 15 min to the airport, I probably wouldn't make it. The next one after that isn't until 4pm. Gah! A quick google search showed that the 11:20a flight was delayed to 12! THANK YOU JESUS!
I threw whatever I could think of at the moment into a duffle bag, forced myself to make a mental check-list of the essentials "ID, Phone, Wallet... check" and took an Uber to the Santa Rosa Airport. I had made it on the flight. ( it cost a freak'in arm and leg, but whatever! It matters not!) I was on my way.
When I landed in LAX, I felt so anxious, I kept flipping through my phone looking for nothing, I ran past all the gates, one glance at the escalators full of people.. and I chose the stairs instead, I ran up the stairs, I ran down the stairs. I knew running probably didn't make a difference but I couldn't stop myself. I kept telling myself "It'll be okay, You'll make it"
I didn't make it.
But, I'm okay.
When I read Uncle's text, I thought I would be upset, I thought I would be sad.. maybe even cry out in grief.. but for some reason, I just felt a huge sense of relief. All my anxiety faded away. I'm glad she wasn't in pain anymore.. and I felt at peace. I just wanted to be with my sister now.
As we pulled up to my moms home.... I was shocked by the number of cars outside.. and even more shocked by the number of shoes outside our door.
My mom had passed, but she was surrounded by all these friends and family who loved and cared for her. It was a joyful celebration. There were tears, but also much laughter. Everyone got a moment to say goodbye. We held hands, sang Amazing Grace to her, and said our prayers. Our house was overflowing with love.
At 8:08p we had the Mortuary pick her up. (she always loved those 8's) My cousin hugged me tightly as they took my mom, I thought I would cry, that I should cry, but I didn't. I just watched blankly and felt numb. I have to be strong.
That night, we had a "Hero's feast" and celebrated her life with our wonderful friends and family. We laughed, we ate, and we talked about our childhood memories. We made a toast to mom's life with big smiles on everyone's face.
It's been two days now... Random items in the house are triggers, and my sister starts sobbing uncontrollably. I hold her close and tell her its okay to be sad and its okay to cry. I can be strong for both of us.
-------------------
We will not be holding a funeral or a viewing. Instead, we will be holding a BBQ at Dana Point Beach this Saturday to celebrate her life! Dana Point is a place that holds great childhood memories for us. Mom would often plan fun BBQ's for us and all her family friends there and we would have a great time eating yummy bbq, fishing for sardines, and taking a little blow up paddleboat out for a ride :) We will be chartering a boat to scatter her ashes the day before with just family. Details below:
-----------------
STELLA'S LIFE CELEBRATION BBQ
Date: Saturday, Aug 18, 2018
Time: 11am---1pm
Location: Dana Point, Baby Beach
Wear: Bright fun colors
Bring: Lots of Joy and an appetite
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1VBY11OT06cTu8VgnwgS5jEiAqwYz2RfEcpsLSKiYxI8/edit?usp=sharing
-----------------------
HELP? (will update as needed)
We are so thankful for our loving friends and family, and are unashamed to admit.. we could really use the help..... the list is every growing...I had to start writing it down so I wouldn't forget.
1. We could really use a reliable gardener, someone that can come weekly or bi-weekly.
2. Our dryer has an error... we have no idea why.. maybe because we've overworked it
3. DONE! We could really use some boxes and some help washing and folding things for donation, and possibly drop off at donation as well
4. DONE! The hose in the backyard is leaking. We were told it was an easy fix with a very simple part at Home depot.. I couldn't process all the fixer-upper jargon. T_T
5. Sleep Overs- it's really comforting when we have someone stay over and play with us. After a long day sorting the billions of hospital bills.. shredding countless papers and making phone calls. We can barely function to do anymore paperwork. We noticed just a night of video games and laughing with us really helped us.
6. Food- https://www.mealtrain.com/trains/m8g287 I know we need to eat.. bit we honestly haven't been hungry at all. We're also both extremely constipated and we don't know why. We drank prune juice and still nothing.. haha. Maybe we need some veggies.
love,
Michelle
This is the most beautiful announcement of passing I've ever read. Your family is so beautiful! My condolences for her passing and best wishes for a happy and joyous celebration of her life and legacy next Saturday!!! <3
ReplyDeleteThis message is from Henry Yiu, the cousin of Michelle's dad.
ReplyDeleteIn 1981, when I was only 17, I went to the USA to study. I was totally unfamiliar with the new environment. Stella showed me around and taught me a lot. Her energetic and positive personality made my staying in a new place a lot easier. Someone so special can never be forgotten. May her soul rest in peace.
From Peter and Mable Poon
ReplyDeleteHi Michelle,
Thank you very much for your beautiful announcement of the celebration of life of your wonderful mom!
Even though we are saddened to know that Stella had passed away, we always remember her smiles and her friendly chats with us. We also remember seeing your mom, you and Tiffany in your beautiful home with our Christian Fellowship sisters and brothers many years ago.
When Stella worked at NASA/JPL, she was very nice and helpful to me (Peter Poon) even though we worked in different areas - Stella was in the human resource/ business area while I worked on various space missions.
Our deepest condolences to you, Tiffany and the rest of your family! May God’s promise of eternal life give all of you comfort! We know that Stella is resting in the peace and love of our Savior and Lord Jesus Christ. God bless you and Tiffany!
Love,
Peter and Mable
From Ms. Leung Chui Ping, auntie of Michelle's dad
ReplyDeleteIn my memory, Stella has always been capable, smart, considerate, respectful to the senior and caring for the young.
I was fortunate to be treated by Stella with great hospitality while visiting my son, Henry, in Los Angeles many years ago. Her accompany made my stay exceptionally pleasurable.
Stella was articulate in her communication, expressing loving and kind words all the time, both verbally and in letter writing.
I feel the best treasures that God has given Stella are her two daughters. In this regard, she left this world with no regrets. Knowing she is now at peace in heaven, we send our blessings to her loved ones on earth.
From Ms. Helena Yiu, cousin of Michelle's dad
ReplyDeleteStella has always been a generous, enthusiastic and lively woman, full of vibrant energy & leadership qualities. She is both a loving mother and a dutiful daughter, at the same time, treating every relative with tenderness and affection. It is comforting to know that Stella has completed a most fulfilling life journey and is now at peace in heaven.
Dear Michelle & Tiffany, please take more rest to regain your well-being, understanding that the Love from all your friends and relatives are always present to support you!
Lots of Love from Helena