Team No Sleep
Its been quite the Tornado of events lately! It's been really heartbreaking to see my normally strong and stubborn mom, so sad and broken. She's been breaking out into tears as soon as she sees people and constantly reminding me I have to take care of my sister. While sobbing, she told me she always thought she was strong, but she feels so useless now, and she's never been in so much pain in her life.
Physically my mom is skin and bones, but her belly is bloated like a 4 month pregnant lady (due to damage to her stomach from radiation) Her legs and feet are also extremely swollen with fluid retention (most likely due to decreased liver or heart function)
She has chronic spasm coughs that prevent her from sleeping, the only position she doesn't cough, is hunched over the dinner table like this.
There are a million prescription bottles scattered over our dining table, all sorts of opiates, sleep aids, painkillers. But nothing seems to help.
We purchased a portable massage chair for my mom, in hopes of helping her sleep comfortably but her spine compressed so much, she's too tiny to fit even on the smallest setting.
Our nightly routine consists of us helping her from the dining table to bed, praying one of the many drugs we gave her will help her cough reside, and give her some sleep that night. As soon as my mom sits on the bed, coughing fits ensue. they stop for a few seconds here and there, as we slowly try to lay her down comfortably. My sister and I lay on a sleeping pad (one of the many that didn't work well for my mom) a few feet outside her room to keep tabs on her. Our sweet dogs keep us company
We lay there listening to her coughing and hoping it will eventually stop. Sometimes we're lucky and she falls asleep for an hour! But most of the times we hear the tell-tale signs it's not working: She starts severely wheezing and gasping for air. At that point, we help her back to the dining table where hunches over it, until her wheezing calms down. We repeat this cycle usually till 2 or 3am. At that point, she either just tells us to go to bed, and hunches over the dining room table the entire night.
Yesterday, we went to UCI medical center to go over some clinical trials my mom might qualify for.. but turns out there weren't any trials that seemed like a good match. That day, my mom cried a lot. Every person she saw, she broke down in tears as if it was the last time she might see them. I think the reality of her condition hit her.
I was finally able to convince my mom to consider hospice. I think she believes hospice is a deathbed, when in reality it greatly improves quality of life. We are getting it set up soon! I really believe that if we can just help her feel better and finally get some sleep, her body will start healing itself! :)
Physically my mom is skin and bones, but her belly is bloated like a 4 month pregnant lady (due to damage to her stomach from radiation) Her legs and feet are also extremely swollen with fluid retention (most likely due to decreased liver or heart function)
She has chronic spasm coughs that prevent her from sleeping, the only position she doesn't cough, is hunched over the dinner table like this.
There are a million prescription bottles scattered over our dining table, all sorts of opiates, sleep aids, painkillers. But nothing seems to help.
Our nightly routine consists of us helping her from the dining table to bed, praying one of the many drugs we gave her will help her cough reside, and give her some sleep that night. As soon as my mom sits on the bed, coughing fits ensue. they stop for a few seconds here and there, as we slowly try to lay her down comfortably. My sister and I lay on a sleeping pad (one of the many that didn't work well for my mom) a few feet outside her room to keep tabs on her. Our sweet dogs keep us company
We lay there listening to her coughing and hoping it will eventually stop. Sometimes we're lucky and she falls asleep for an hour! But most of the times we hear the tell-tale signs it's not working: She starts severely wheezing and gasping for air. At that point, we help her back to the dining table where hunches over it, until her wheezing calms down. We repeat this cycle usually till 2 or 3am. At that point, she either just tells us to go to bed, and hunches over the dining room table the entire night.
Yesterday, we went to UCI medical center to go over some clinical trials my mom might qualify for.. but turns out there weren't any trials that seemed like a good match. That day, my mom cried a lot. Every person she saw, she broke down in tears as if it was the last time she might see them. I think the reality of her condition hit her.
I was finally able to convince my mom to consider hospice. I think she believes hospice is a deathbed, when in reality it greatly improves quality of life. We are getting it set up soon! I really believe that if we can just help her feel better and finally get some sleep, her body will start healing itself! :)
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